Just 'Cause
by lynxzpanther
Summary: Post-The man Who Would Be King angst, it's my version of Castiel's sign, because his father loves him. Really, should Castiel's story really end as a tragedy?


_**AN: The end of last episode bugged me because they ended on death threats, and that just... isn't right. It's Cas. So my brain was trying to figure it out and fix it, and this is what it got. ^.^ Thank the unending boringness of practice AP exams. **_

_**Disclaimer: I disclaim. **_

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><p>Dean was only this pissed with Cas out of guilt. "I did this for you!" Cas told him, multiple times and with varying levels of desperation. He had begged Dean to understand, but Dean couldn't. If he accepted that the angel <em>selling his soul<em> was his fault, well, Dean would die a little—a lot—inside.

"I was there!" he shouted at Cas, defensive but hiding it behind the fiery rage. Had he been, though? He'd cut ties with everyone, hadn't he? He'd tried so damn hard to keep that normal family life thing going on. Partly for Sammy, that was true, but it was also partly because it felt so good to not have to worry every moment of every day. Most of the time Dean was just as broken as always, but sometimes there were moments where he _wasn't _Dean Winchester, a man raised to fight monsters, the "riteous" man that broke the first seal in Hell. He was just Dean, a kind-of-father to Ben and sort-of-boyfriend to Lisa. He was the man that cooked the best steaks on the barbeque, who could hold his liquor better than anyone else when they had drinks and be trusted to drive everyone home, who was determined and passionate even with a simple job like construction. For the first time since high school, Dean was _real, _and he didn't have to avoid settling into this place. He'd been afraid to rely on anyone but Sammy and Dad in high school, because too soon they'd be moving on anyways, and he'd embraced that with his life. But in their life, everyone was lost, and for once he could go to sleep at night next to Lisa and know she'd be there when he woke up in the morning. He knew he'd seen Ben in the kitchen before the kid ran off to school, and he'd see him again in the kitchen doing homework when he got home. There was a routine to this thing, and it was reassuring _especially _because he was broken. He didn't have to think about what to do next; the pattern was there, and he was slowly healing.

He cared about Lisa. He hadn't even been in love with her, per se. She'd been smoking hot, yes, and he considered her family. He would have died for her or Ben. But it was more like how he'd felt about Jo; maybe it was because Lisa wasn't unattainable, but he couldn't feel that spark he _should _feel. She may or may not have felt it, but maybe she didn't need more than someone to rely on. More than anything, he tried to be that.

If Cas had showed up talking about angel wars and Raphael, of _course _he would have helped. Cas and Bobby were _family, _even more than Lisa and Ben. But Dean would have freaked out—internally, but still—and he would have stayed damaged.

Dean had to force himself to see things from Cas' perspective, too, which was hard. He didn't know what the angel did when he wasn't with them. He did know, however, that Cas _always _came when they called. He'd died for Dean twice, something Dean liked to think about as little as possible because the guy had popped like a friggin' balloon, but he didn't ignore it, either. With all that Cas had done for him, he figured Cas probably considered him family as well.

Bobby had once told Dean that family was supposed to make you feel like crap. That, as far as Dean's experience went, was too true. But Cas had always seemed _safe, _like that one perfect, untouchable aspect of Dean's life that he could always rely on to be right. Now, thoughts of Cas just made him a bit hurt, a lot confused, and disturbingly lonely—for both of them. Who did Cas have now? A bunch of douchey angels and a demon? Crowley couldn't be happy, because Cas had killed his demons rescuing them—yet another sign that the angel obviously cared. He'd been so torn up, so destroyed by their anger.

Dean hadn't let him explain. Couldn't let him explain. What if Cas was right? What if there _was _no right or wrong in this? What _did _Raphael want? That _really bad things _would happen under Raphael's heavenly jurisdiction was obvious, but what did "really bad things" entail? What was his part to play in all of this? _Was _Cas protecting him—all of them?

He'd meant it when he told Cas that being able to do whatever didn't mean he should. He'd asked the angel to trust him, but God, he'd been so much like a parent in that moment. It was like all of his fatherly training with Ben was coming out. If he didn't understand the situation he couldn't out-argue the angel, but he'd asked Cas to _trust _him, and that had always worked before.

Looking back, it seemed logical that Cas had responded with an, "Or what?" That was what children did, after all, to see how far they could push the boundaries set by those who knew more. Cas was so much infinitely older than Dean, but he was so new to making decisions. He was like a child in a lot of ways, and he was an impressionable child in way over his head with no one to go to.

Hell, even without the full story it sort of made sense.

Dean chewed it all over for a day before he made his decision. He left the house without telling Bobby or Sam, because either of them would have tried to stop him, and he drove. He drove until he was far enough away and then he stopped, Metallica blasting in his ears. He didn't want to, but… "Cas?"

Maybe the angel _did _trust him more than he thought, because even with a death threat hanging between them Cas showed up. He was just _there _the next moment, sitting calmly in the passenger seat. He didn't look at Dean, instead turning his head to gaze out the window. He made no acknowledgement, so Dean turned down the music and took a breath. "I want to understand."

The words hung in the silence for a moment before Cas slowly turned to look at him. Their eyes met last, Cas' still-too-innocent blue ones meeting Dean's green. They looked so confused, so conflicted, and so hopeful that Dean's heart kind of broke just a little. He was so much like a child, and Dean knew he _had _to fix this, however that may be possible. There was _always _a way.

And then, Cas _smiled. _He glanced briefly up, and was the angel freaking _praying? _(It should have been annoying, would normally have been annoying, but that the angel still had his obsessive and determined faith in his father warmed Dean's heart a little, because this _was _still Cas.) Then, Cas started to talk.

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><p><em><strong>Honestly, I think "just 'cause" should have been a good enough reason, 'cause Dean's adorable. But still. Reviews are love!<strong>_


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